Posted by: smirkdirk | June 7, 2010

Christopher Hitchens on Drinking

Christopher Hitchens drives me nuts. He writes for a ton of my favorite magazines and websites like Vanity Fair and Slate, and he’s a really good and interesting writer – but he tends to fall quite to the left on the political spectrum such that, with the last president it was an all-out, 8-year mock-a-thon, and with our present president its a regular 60’s love in – replete with Hitchens removing the blind-fold and grasping for the hanky with which to wipe the love-juices from his chin…even as he puts the finishing edits to his latest article.

But, damn is the guy a good writer.

Anyway, he has a new book out and there’s snippet of it on Slate available here that’s about drinking. I think his thoughts are pretty right-on so thought I’d reprint them here, which makes for a pretty awesome blog post, and sure beats having to come up with a topic myself.

In an effort to show that I expended at least a little effort I will insert some Google images where appropriate based on the sentence right before the image appears. This may work, or it may not. Either way, the important thing is to read the (in this case) wise words of “Hitch” and his ‘Rules of Drinking’:

1. Making rules about drinking can be the sign of an alcoholic.

2. Watching the clock for the start-time is probably also a bad sign.

3. Don’t drink on an empty stomach: the main point of the refreshment is the enhancement of food.

4. Don’t drink if you have the blues: it’s a junk cure.

5. Drink when you are in a good mood.

6. Cheap booze is a false economy.

7.It’s not true that you shouldn’t drink alone: these can be the happiest glasses you ever drain.

8. Hangovers are another bad sign, and you should not expect to be believed if you take refuge in saying you can’t properly remember last night. (If you really don’t remember, that’s an even worse sign.)

Bonus 2nd Image!

9. Avoid all narcotics: these make you more boring rather than less and are not designed—​as are the grape and the grain—​to enliven company.

10. Never even think about driving a car if you have taken a drop.

11. It’s much worse to see a woman drunk than a man: I don’t know quite why this is true but it just is. Don’t ever be responsible for it.



  1. I think you have a Masters degree in Google Image Insertion. And a strange obsession with Britney and madonna that I will never understand!

    Hitchens is a lot of things…brilliant is one. Overblown is another. But he can really challenge your mind and it makes him worth paying attention to…

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